Saturday, August 9

My First Threesome

Worked today. Had 10 o'clock and twelve o'clock clients. My first client was twenty minutes late. Lost, per normal. The receptionists always tell people we're on Madison. I don't know why they do that. The front door faces and the parking lot entrance opens on Vista. Saying we're on Madison when there isn't even a sign is absurd. No one can ever find us.

So the client wanders in and flat out asks what is involved in an hour massage. People who are late, and know they're late, always do this. Do you people think I'm stupid? I know you've looked at your watch. And just because you were lost doesn't mean you're allowed to still have your full hour. Sorry. We have a schedule, though you wouldn't know it from the receptionists' and owners' perspectives. I know you're going to time me and check your watch when you leave, so don't think I'm not onto your game.

After my first massage I went into the Whatever Area. I don't know what the hell to call it. The Place Where We Eat and Keep Purses. I was reading a magazine from home when one of the nail techs came back to tell me her client decided against having the pedicure and so they were moving her massage up so she wouldn't have to sit around for an hour. I had a break so of course I could do it, even though it's already a quarter after eleven. I said, "She's actually not my client." She said, "Yeah. They told me to give her to you." So my friend who was supposed to be coming in to massage this lady at noon was called and told not to come in. I said, "This makes me uncomfortable. I'm stealing money from her. And that means they'll do it to me one day." The nail tech said, "Oh, they do this all the time."

When I arrived at work I saw that my 1 p.m. client was down for a 4 Hand Massage. Since I don't have four hands, I went to ask who was assisting me. We've never had one of these before, at least not in the 10 months I've been there. When the other massage therapist arrived we discussed our game plan. Twenty minutes on the legs and back, switch places and ten more minutes on legs and back. Turn her over; twenty five minutes on the front. Done.

Here I'm thinking if there's going to be a two-on-one scenario played out here today it's going to be me, Jude Law and Michael Vartan.

Turns out this massage was a gift to the client. Who buys someone a four handed massage? A pervert. Who gets a four handed massage? Someone who is very uncomfortable and nervous and perhaps a little creepy. Who enjoys doing four handed massages? Me! omg It's my new favorite!

I have had my license for eight years. Never have I enjoyed a massage so much. It was so fun having someone else in the room with me besides the client. I had company. We didn't chat or anything, but it was great communication nonetheless. Watching each other and keeping track of our minutes. I wanted to wave at her and make funny faces, but I restrained myself.

I highly recommend the massage if you are near any spas that offer it. And let me know what you think.

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