Saturday, August 9

Bright Light. Crap City.

I cannot believe I haven't written about this. Nearly a month ago, the law office next door fixed their outdoor security light. There is a sidewalk and some landscaping between my apartment and their side entrance. I got in bed one night and thought what light is on? I laid there trying to figure out what was different about the lighting in my bedroom. It was lit up like Las Vegas. I noticed the light on the side of the law office. Has it been there all along? I have blinds on my windows, but no curtains. No one in the building has curtains.

I could barely sleep. Poor baby was restless all night long. I called the law office the next morning. I said, "Hi. I live next door and I have a question about the new light on the side of your building. Is is a security motion detector or will the thing be staying on all night long?" The woman said, "Hold on for one moment please." A couple of seconds later, someone picked up the phone and said, "May I help you?" I said, "Uh...a woman was helping me." She said, "You've been transferred to me." I freaking hate that. Tell me you're transferring me if you think I'm some crazy person who needs to be 'dealt' with, don't just transfer me without warning. It's rude.

I asked my question again. She said, "It will be on all night." I said, "I wish I'd had some warning. It was high noon in my bedroom all night long. I have a baby who has enough trouble sleeping." She said, "Well, the light has always been there. We just fixed it yesterday." Um...lady...what the eff is that supposed to mean? Because it's been hanging unlit on the side of the building for years I should already be used to its light that is bright as the sun? It WASN'T WORKING hence NO LIGHT. I wanted to say, "Oh well, then. I've always had this BB gun and I like to pick people off from my kitchen window. I've always had it, only I just got the bullets, so no complaining when I shoot you in the ass."

I said, "Well, I guess I'm going to have to get curtains." She said, "Maybe you didn't realize, there have been homeless people sleeping between our buildings," in a very low whisper. You know...the homeless...the way idiotic people lower their voices to say...the Mexicans...or...the blacks. This woman is clearly afraid of men sleeping in the hastas using styrofoam cups as pillows. I informed her we have had a homeless person sleeping in our vestibule. She said, "Oh." Yeah. Oh. So now, not only are the homeless unable to sleep, but I can't sleep and I have a home.

I had a friend come over and help me hang curtains. They work fine but look ridiculous. I need two more panels, but I got these for $25 on sale. I'm not spending $100 on curtains. I'm not Liberace. I have been looking for cheap ones and found some at Kmart for $17. So I can't take these down until I have the other ones to put up. I'll get them this weekend, I think. And some quality sleep, I hope.

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