Tuesday, June 3

The Day's Developments

This morning, my friend watched baby for me because my mother is out-of-town and she usually watches her. My friend is a teacher and had to go clean her classroom this morning, so she had to take baby with her to school. I have a lot of sucking up to do because I've never let my mom drive baby around without me in the car. As a matter of fact, my mother hasn't ridden in the front seat with me driving in nine and a half months. She always sits in the back with the bundle of love. It's especially magical when baby is sleeping and doesn't realize we've gone to pick up Gramma and then wakes up at our destination and the first thing she sees is the face of her best buddy in the whole world. Baby and Gramma are thisclose, as they should be. The look on Huddy's face is priceless. There's usually a lot of squealing involved. So I really don't think mom minds too much about not driving her around. I think she'd miss being in the back seat with her.

When my friend got here this morning a huge downpour had just let up. I finished getting ready and right as we were walking out the door it began raining buckets. Sideways. Needly rain. I, of course, was dressed head-to-toe in white stupidstupidstupidjob and was so soaked through after loading the car seat into my friend's car. I had on white linen pants. And a rain coat that should never have been marketed as such, unless I misunderstood and it meant it rains inside this coat. I had given my house keys to my friend and had to chase her down running through the parking lot to get them back from her so I could go in and change clothes. I was a mess.

On my way to work though, the guy upstairs called to tell me that our neighbor saw the two men who stole my catalytic converter a few weeks ago. He got their license plate number. This makes me very happy. Not that they'll get a life sentence or anything but just that maybe some other poor mom with a tiny baby won't suffer one day while these guys are locked up for a few hours. Dear karma, please ignore me and my need to BUST THESE PERPS! Love, me

Once I got to work and changed into yet another all-white outfit stupidstupidstupidjob I was met by a very strange client. I gave her my spiel about getting undressed, starting face down, take your bra off, you can leave on your underwear, blah blah blah, I'll knock before I come in, etc., etc., I said, "Do you have any questions for me?" She asked, "Do I take off my top?" I'm sorry. I shouldn't do this, but...WTF? No. Take off your bra, but leave your top on. And I mean it. You MUST unhook your bra and reenact that scene from Flashdance (where Jennifer Beals boggles her boss's mind by taking off her bra under her sweatshirt). And we'll be watching on hidden camera so NO CHEATING! "Yes. Take off your shirt and your bra."

After her massage she was supposed to get a facial. I told her how to put the gown on "the way you would a towel when you get out of the shower." I demonstrated for her and showed her where the snaps were. I told her to lay back down just as she was and the esthetician would be right in to do her facial. She looked up at me and said, "Oh. I put that gown on?" No. I put it on. I'm just telling you this because I need to waste 17 seconds. Yes, you. *smack*

Later, I heard the esthetician taking her out into the salon and telling her that someone would be coming back to do her manicure and pedicure and that she could pick out any of the polishes on the wall. She said, "Wow. Any of them?" I think she may have been drunk. I'm not sure. She didn't expose herself to me, so I'm going to let it slide.

Anyway...moving on. My last two clients were girlfriend and boyfriend. He was last and gave me a HUGE tip from the both of them. Finally. Someone who knows what they're doing. And he actually handed it to me. I guarantee you, if he'd given it to the receptionst at the counter I would've never seen a penny of that money.

When I got home, my friend informed me that Huddy wowed all the Montessori teachers with her ability to say "kitty cat" and sit in the middle of the floor and look as if she was really reading a book on "hard work". She's brilliant.

It was a good day.

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