What Happened Was Just This

Crikey! Huge wind storm yesterday while I was walking to work. It blew my sunglasses off my face (Oscar de la Renta $7 TJMaxx...bye bye) CRASH! shattering them in the street, blowing them a block away at 60 mph, and it ripped the rubber band out of my ponytail. I was pinned to a giant planter. I couldn't move. Some guy walked past me and just stared at me. Uh...hello? Thanks for helping me. I just wanted to cross the street! I didn't weigh enough.

My work was the only restaurant open in the area. Power lines down everywhere. We were slammed. There had been a Bengals' game. Boy, do they ever suck. People were drunk coming in to eat and find refuge. I love how people are not nice when clearly you're doing the best you can to accommodate all the other people ahead of them. I was so busy, and we only had one bartender. I went behind the bar to finish pouring a Guinness while dreaming of shoving my head under the tap for a swig. A man at the bar barked some order to me. I turned and said, "I'm sorry?" He asked for some silverware. I couldn't find any behind the bar. So I ran and got him a place setting. He said, "May I just say you are the first person in this place who has done anything for me with a smile?" I said, "Oh...well that's because I've lost my mind." He reached out to shake my hand and introduced himself. He said, "Your first child's college tuition is on me." I said, "That works out great! She's 13 months old today!" I doubt he'll really come back with a check.

Another table of guys came in late and gave me all kinds of hell. It was obvious they didn't know each other from the conversations they were having. One guy was talking about Penelope Cruz and all the famous people he has met and didn't sleep with. One guy paid and as I was closing out his tab the math wasn't coming out correctly. I went over to the table and said, "So, why are you guys in town?" I had asked to see his I.D. because he hadn't signed his credit card. He was from Nebraska. "Why?" he asked. Uh...yes. "Pet food convention." So I said, "Not a math conference?" He said, "Um, no." Then he gave me a funny look and said, "Why? What'd I do?" I said, "Well, according to your math my tip should be $26, not $18." I asked, "Do you want to give me an $18 tip or do you want me to do the total?" He said, "Well...I uh...guess the tip that I wrote down." I said, "That's fine. But for future reference, people will enter the total because that's what you'll remember. If you added incorrectly shorting the tip, then the server will still only get the total even if it's short." He said okay. I said, "So, we're going with the $18 tip then?" He said, "Yeah. I guess." I said, "It's okay. We're not dating. I'm not going to be pissed at you or anything."

Trees crushed cars. Power out for miles, possibly not back on for days in some places. I just called the grocery to see if they were open before I drove there. The manager answered and said they are without cold or frozen food and are only allowing people to buy 2 bags of ice at a time. Wow. I'll take boxed processed food for $1000, Alex.

Of course I have power at my place. I live by my work. There is a jail, a transit center and two huge hotels. Can't imagine we're not on some generator or something. The power lines are down in the street right across from me blocking off the road.

I'm trying to watch the school closings list on the television, but inevitably look away before the Ns show up. Every. Time. Dammit.