My mother always told me never to tell a dream before breakfast because it will come true. Some dreams I blabbed before getting out of bed just begging them to materialize, i.e., winning the lottery and buying an Hermes Birkin, meeting and smooching Michael Vartan).
Yesterday's dream I made sure to tell only after having eaten a GIGANTIC breakfast. Please. DO NOT ever come true. It was basically Red Dawn with different actors. Sadly, the Lead Male was played by my ex-husband. After a lot of gunfire and bombing, him still surviving, we decided to take refuge in a building with a bunch of other frightened people, none more frightened than me. As we were walking up the wooden bridge to the house (it was on a lake), I turned to him and said, "I'm wearing pull-ups right now but I could totally wear big girl panties if I want to. I'm this many (and held up two fingers) but I have the vocabulary of a 5-year-old."
What...the...hell...?
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