Monday, April 7

If I Had A Million Dollars

I'm back!!! And boy, am I tired. I guess the little one is teething, but who the hell really knows? I think sometimes babies just cry to be assholes. I have no clue what's going on in her little brain. Maybe she thought of something really sad. Like...Drowning Puppy Lake. Don't ask.

Anyhoo...I was eating my pretentious fusili pasta the other night and I was nearly finished when I discovered a piece of macaroni. I rushed to the garbage to check the bag to see if I'd won some contest. Alas, it was not the case. But I thought about how cool that would be if I had found the magic bag. Like when M&Ms had the allusive grey M&M. I probably bought that winning bag and ate the grey one without ever noticing. I tend to eat M&Ms without looking. Kind of the same way I drink my beers without counting, until the next morning.

If I had won $1 million in a Find the Macaroni Sweepstakes this is what I would've spent it on.

A cooking school vacation in Tuscany. $4565.00 w/round trip flight
35 cm orange Hermes Birkin $12,000.00 on discount site
Porsche Cayenne Turbo $93,700.00 without a full tank of gas
Ticket to NYC to stare at this townhouse I still couldn't afford $374.50 round trip
Peridot and diamond ring in honor of baby $715.50

Um...$111,355. Hmm....

Campus Frye boots $282.00
Acuvue Advance for Astigmatism $303.92 year's supply

Ugh...this is harder than I thought.

Monday trip to Target...$888,059.10