Better Late Than Never

I'm a bad person. I have never really cared about politics or given it much thought. I'm pretty much one of those "I don't care who's in charge, as long as I know what the rules are and I don't break them" kind of people. I am just like my little friend Kara Loo. Prison scares the everliving shit out of me. I would most certainly die that first night of claustrophobia. Or I'd be murderated because I would be able to hear other people breathing/snoring/talking and I wouldn't be able to sleep and I'd yell at them to PIPE DOWN and then one of them would be confused and instead put the pipe down on me. No prison. Please, baby Jesus, no prison.

I remember my political science professor rambling on the first day of class about something or such. He finally got this look on his face and asked, "Does anyone know what it means to be a Democrat?" *crickets* "Republican?" *double crickets* "Okay. Let's start at the very beginning. Once upon a time...." I was so embarrassed for all of us. Sadly, I forgot my book in class that day and instead of paying over $100 for a new one...I dropped the class. Hence, my future as a freshman senator from Kentucky was brought to an abrupt halt. Oh, who am I kidding? I ruined that for myself in high school.

I am so very scared of this election. I thought, many years ago, that John McCain would make a great President. I always had the feeling that if you were going to be President and "Commander in Chief" that you should have served in a war. He did that, of course, and wears that badge of honor everyday. There are many people now who could fit this profile if you count Desert Storm, Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq, Bosnia. Of course, I thought this when John McCain wasn't four hundred and eleven years old. Oh mah gawd! Please! He's too old. And not well. And if he died...we'd get...her. How is learning on the job a good thing now? I mean, if you've never been a server before then that's is a great opportunity to learn on the job. You're boss can mold you into the perfect little worker bee. Every skill you pick up there you will most certainly take with you to your next 10 serving jobs (no one ever stays at one restaurant forever). You'll annoy the people at your next serving job by telling them stories of how you did things at your old job. People love those stories. NOT. Where would Palin go after she was VP? Would she run for President? If McCain dies, would she be reelected? She scares me. Who is Joe Six Pack? Does he drink a lot of beer or does he work out a lot? Who is Todd Palin? The name alone is a red flag to me, but that is a story for another day.

I want an Obama sticker for my car. I want an Obama life size cardboard cut-out that I can hug everyday and wish him well. He has the potential to be one of the greatest Presidents our nation, the world!, has ever known if it wasn't for the ginormous pile of horse turds he'll be left to clean up. It's so sad.

I almost want McCain/Palin to win so I can say "I told you so!" to anyone who will listen.

I almost want Obama to lose because Al Gore's not winning was the greatest thing that ever happened to him.

Please...let the best man win.