Put Your Boobs Away, and Step Out of the Car.

A woman in Ohio was pulled over and cited for driving whilst talking on her cell phone...and nursing. WUT? Yes. Driving and nursing. Whoa. Is she from Louisiana? Did her car exceed such a speed limit that it raced into a portal through time? Did she somehow drive herself into the 1970s?

I can understand talking on your cell phone while driving. I don't do it when I have the baby in the car, but I do talk on the phone when she isn't with me. I will admit, there have been times when I've said, "Where in the hell is my phone?" only to realize I'm saying that into the phone to the poor person to which I'm talking. That is, how do they say it...not good.

I am not judging this woman for talking on the phone with her baby in the car. I'm sure there are moments when you would really need to talk to someone. I get that. But holding a cell phone, driving and nursing said baby simultaneously. I'm thinking this is a horrible terrible idea.

In the past, I have seen some things I wish I'd never seen. On two different occasions, men exposed themselves to me; one was performing some type of oral pleasure on a giant root vegetable and the other one was performing some type of five finger pleasure to himself. The second man must've done yoga or something, for he was able to really get his entire torso up out of the seat and above the steering wheel while still driving. Now THAT is something I would pull someone over for, especially if he was chatting on his cell. I mean, I hope he had hand sanitizer in his car. Or wipes or something.

I nursed for fourteen months. I didn't take my first road trip with the baby until she was sixteen months old. I didn't have to stop to nurse, but I did have to stop for lunch and a diaper change. The Ohio woman--who lives in Michigan and asserts she should only have to abide interstate by Michigan law--claims her usual seven hour drive would turn into a nine hour drive if she had to stop. That is a long time for a baby to ride in a car seat, I agree. The woman had the baby in her lap on a pillow and was nursing when a man saw her and called the police to have her pulled over. It would be really difficult to have to stop and nurse, especially if you were alone and there wasn't a nice safe place to feed your baby.

I know people got sick of seeing my breasts when I was nursing; I know I certainly did. And don't think for a minute that I didn't wish I could nurse in the car. I'd nursed everywhere else; Target, restaurants, the movies, book stores. I miss it. I'm all for women being able to just whip it out whenever they feel like it, but let's save the highway nudity for semi drivers and college frat boys. Just sayin'.