So, Facebook has taken the place of another site that I couldn't get away from for a few years. I've been there recently and not here and I apologize.
Recently a Poll: went around asking people to name 25 random things about themselves. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. And after reading everyone else's list, I remembered a ton of things that I forgot to add to mine. It was very stressful. I considered myself to be very boring, but I will refrain from redoing my list. I cannot be such a freakazoid anymore. I must let things remain as they are, mistakes and all. Ooh. Dang. I should have put that down.
1. I wish I still had all my Seventeen magazines from the 80s and that my parents hadn't thrown them out when they moved. I also wish I had a lot of things that are gone and that every time I ask "Whatever happened to my yearbooks?" my mother wouldn't say, "We told you if you wanted something you had to come and get it."
2. I love my daughter more than I've ever loved anything in the world, yet I can't stop thinking about what I'd do if anything ever happened to her. It's not an enjoyable thought.
3. I am addicted to stationery and office products. If there was a 12 step group I'd probably join it but then I'd just end up meeting a bunch of people with really great stationery.
4. If someone handed me $1000 and told me I couldn't keep it and I had to spend it by the end of the day, I'd blow it all on books, Moleskine journals, magazines and CDs at Joseph Beth. And a latte in Bronte.
5. I have turned into one of those mother's who hopes her daughter does everything she never got to do.
6. For one day I'd like to be able to sing like Joni Mitchell. I'd take my guitar to NYC and sing on the subway platforms.
7. I wanted nothing more than to live in NYC. When I lived there, I missed Kentucky for the first time in my life. It's so beautiful and green and lovely. i never appreciated it before then.
8. I've worn glasses since the third grade. I still remember walking into class and Becky Pike clapped because she was the only other person in our class who had glasses.
9. I cheered for an arena football team. I could have met the man of my dreams if I'd paid really close attention to the equipment manager.
10. The best job I've ever had in my life was at Wildflour Bakery when I was in massage therapy school; it ruined me for all future jobs.
11. I had a spinal fusion when i was 16 years old. I broke my rod and had the surgery again when I was 19 years old. My doctor had never had to repeat a surgery in his entire career until I came along. Go figure.
12. I am getting my second bachelor's degree because I want to teach elementary grades. I could have gone for my master's in teaching but I would've only been able to teach middle grades. I'll still have to get my master's.
13. I am addicted to coffee but cannot finish an entire cup when I'm at home. I especially love the first sip.
14. I won a bike-a-thon in the third grade. The prize was a bike. I was so excited. When we went to pick it up I was so upset. It was a boy's bike. It had lightning on the seat. I never rode it. Not once.
15. My eyes were so dark brown you could hardly see my pupils until my sophomore year in high school when they turned hazel.
16. The girls on my floor my freshman year in college forbade me from watching "Little House on the Prairie" because I would sob for an hour each morning.
17. My dream job is to be a writer of fiction.
18. I wish I could go back in time.
19. My favorite teacher growing up was Mrs. Kearns. Our class was in a trailer in the back of the school. One day, a guy came into the class. He was in college and had her as his 2nd grade teacher. He said that she had told him years before that if she had a rocking chair she would read to the class all day long. He brought her a rocking chair, put it together while we had class and then she read to us for the rest of the day.
20. When I was a kid, I would dog-ear the pages of the Service Merchandise catalog. Not to keep track of the stuff I wanted, but to mark the pages in the children's section of the boys and girls I wanted for brothers and sisters. This made my mother cry.
21. I have my degree in journalism, yet I loathe watching the news and rarely read the paper, unless it's the NY Times Arts or Style sections. Or the Enquirer's puzzle page.
22. The only way I know I'm mad is when the tears come out. Ooh...how I hate that.
23. When I was in elementary school, I would wake up in the mornings, plug in the coffee for my parents and then I would go to my mom's side of the bed, kneel down and put my head on the mattress. She would play with my hair until she heard the coffee pot finish and then she'd tell me to go get dressed. I did this Monday-Friday.
24. I can say the alphabet backwards faster than I can say it forwards.
25. I wish I could live forever.
Thursday, January 29
Tuesday, January 20
Friday, January 16
It's a Sign That I've Watched This Movie Too Many Times
I was watching Grey's Anatomy last night, which by the way--I still don't know what in the world is going on and only have one particular friend to blame for even having it on the television in the first place--will leave me traumatized for some time to come. The last scene was one of the most disturbing things I've seen on television since...well, since I caught part of an episode of another show I don't watch called Nip/Tuck, where a woman blew Build-a-Bear stuffing into some guy's mouth and...let's just leave it at that. Both of these scenes make me want to poke out my mind's eye. I couldn't even look at the television last night during the last moments. Just hearing it forced me to look away and cover my eyes.
I did, however, catch a teaser for Good Morning America about the US Airways plane which crash landed into the Hudson. The plane took off from LGA and was in route to Charlotte. I'm sorry...WUT? That is my child's name. Charlotte Hudson. So utterly eerie, it has also been burned into my brain.
I was reminded of something else that was a little freaky deaky. About a week after my dad passed away, I met a friend at a bookstore, which also has a wonderful little restaurant in it, across the river. I was telling her about how I'd hung-out at the hospital all day long on that Thursday and that evening I had decided to go home, shower, feed my cats and I would come back to stay with my mom and dad. Almost as soon as I had decided to leave, my dad started making noises like "Mm-mm" as if he was telling someone "No." This went on for many minutes. A nurse came in and said to him, even though he was in a coma-like state, "I'm going to roll you over on your side." He said, "MM-MM." She backed away and said, "Okay. I heard that" and left the room. After about twenty minutes, I said I would be back and kissed his hand. I didn't even make it to the parking lot before he had passed away. It was if he had been telling someone, "I'm not coming with you until my daughter leaves." I was telling my friend this as we were waiting to be seated in the restaurant. We were standing next to a book shelf of greeting cards. Just as I finished that sentence, a pack of cards on a wooden book shelf approximately 12 feet high fell from the top shelf and landed face up on my foot. There was no way anyone could have bumped the shelf and caused the cards to fall. They were all set back about four inches from the edge. We looked down and saw that the cards simply read: Hello. That was it. My friend and I stood there and cried. And laughed. It was a good sign. I bought that pack of cards and still have them.
So I like to think that this recent event is also a sign. A sign that she will be okay. That everything happens for a reason. Now that certain things are underway regarding her future--that if her biological father were not out-of-town right now he would have seen the whole scene from his office window--she will be strong and fearless. I like to think this about myself as well. And just as the Hudson saved countless lives in NYC yesterday, I know that my Hudson saves my life everyday. And I believe my dad is watching.
I did, however, catch a teaser for Good Morning America about the US Airways plane which crash landed into the Hudson. The plane took off from LGA and was in route to Charlotte. I'm sorry...WUT? That is my child's name. Charlotte Hudson. So utterly eerie, it has also been burned into my brain.
I was reminded of something else that was a little freaky deaky. About a week after my dad passed away, I met a friend at a bookstore, which also has a wonderful little restaurant in it, across the river. I was telling her about how I'd hung-out at the hospital all day long on that Thursday and that evening I had decided to go home, shower, feed my cats and I would come back to stay with my mom and dad. Almost as soon as I had decided to leave, my dad started making noises like "Mm-mm" as if he was telling someone "No." This went on for many minutes. A nurse came in and said to him, even though he was in a coma-like state, "I'm going to roll you over on your side." He said, "MM-MM." She backed away and said, "Okay. I heard that" and left the room. After about twenty minutes, I said I would be back and kissed his hand. I didn't even make it to the parking lot before he had passed away. It was if he had been telling someone, "I'm not coming with you until my daughter leaves." I was telling my friend this as we were waiting to be seated in the restaurant. We were standing next to a book shelf of greeting cards. Just as I finished that sentence, a pack of cards on a wooden book shelf approximately 12 feet high fell from the top shelf and landed face up on my foot. There was no way anyone could have bumped the shelf and caused the cards to fall. They were all set back about four inches from the edge. We looked down and saw that the cards simply read: Hello. That was it. My friend and I stood there and cried. And laughed. It was a good sign. I bought that pack of cards and still have them.
So I like to think that this recent event is also a sign. A sign that she will be okay. That everything happens for a reason. Now that certain things are underway regarding her future--that if her biological father were not out-of-town right now he would have seen the whole scene from his office window--she will be strong and fearless. I like to think this about myself as well. And just as the Hudson saved countless lives in NYC yesterday, I know that my Hudson saves my life everyday. And I believe my dad is watching.
Monday, January 12
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